One of the most proactive actions we can take towards improving our emotional and general wellbeing is to learn how to become more forgiving. We’ve all suffered hurts and harboured resentments towards another at some time. The key point here is that if the hurt occurred at some time other than now and if we still feel resentment toward the transgressor now…. who holds the power? Obviously the transgressor does. While we harbour resentment towards another because of a past hurt we are essentially allowing that person to control aspects of our current lives. We are allowing the past to control the present.
Forgiveness is not about condoning, forgetting or excusing hurtful actions but more about releasing the effect past actions have upon us. In other words, letting go of the past. I am a Mace Energy Method (MEM) practitioner and as we say in MEM we can’t change the past but we can change the way it affects us now. If we can’t forgive and let it go we become a slave to the past which can result in us becoming stuck. It can also affect our health according to Dr. Sood of the Mayo Clinic who says feelings of hatred and revenge have been found to cause anxiety, depression, sleeplessness and higher blood pressure. In other words these feeling hurt us not the transgressor.
He agrees that it takes strength of character to forgive but assures us that it certainly pays dividends. In fact research shows acts of forgiveness relieve stress and slow cellular aging. Becoming more mindful of our unwanted emotions can help us recognise when we are dwelling on a hurtful issue. The more mindful we become the more aware we will be of the negative thoughts and emotions that accompany painful memories. Slowly we will learn to let these feelings and thoughts go as we grow to realise the harm they can do.
The first person we need to forgive of course is our self. There is no room for guilt if we want to be free of a victim type consciousness. Freeing ourselves of guilt is not an easy task but the act of forgiving another in fact allows your mind to suspect you are not guilty according to Gary Renard in The Disappearance of the Universe.
Dr. Sood says that we begin to heal when we forgive and the transgressor can no longer impact our lives negatively.
Remember that when we turn our anger toward our transgressor we hurt ourselves and our lives stall. More often than not the target of our resentment and anger remains blissfully unaware and happily gets on with their life.
Letting go of grievances, resentment and guilt frees up our energy, releases our resistance to good and is self empowering. Once free of these shackles we are more able to confidently move forward and manifest in a positive and creative way.
“Remember, an improved feeling means a releasing of resistance, and a releasing of resistance means a greater state of allowing what you really want.” Esther Hicks in Ask and it is Given.